“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21

One of the biggest revelations I’ve had in life is realizing that I get to CHOOSE who speaks into my life. Furthermore, I get to choose who speaks LIFE into my life.There’s a quote I once heard that says you become like the five people you spend most of your time with. If that’s true, and we want to be God-confident women living out the purpose God has for us, we need to surround ourselves with people who speak LIFE into us every. single. day. 

What does it mean for someone to speak life into you? When thinking through what this means, I think back to the fact that words have the power to build us up or tear us down. Having people speak life into your life isn’t simply just about them saying nice words to you — it’s so much more than that. Having people who speak life into you means surrounding yourself with people who love YOU more than they love being liked or admired. These are people who love and care for YOU enough as a friend to hold you accountable for your actions. However, when we are confronted with the truth, it might make you feel uncomfortable or even hurt your feelings. Someone who adds life into you will listen and love you, but will also point you back to the Gospel when you need it most. There’s a big difference in having someone who speaks into your life, and having someone speak LIFE into your life. Someone who speaks life into you will be speaking out of an eternal lens instead of through the eyes of this world. Do you have someone like that in your life? 

You have the power to choose. Listen friends, you have the power to choose who impacts your life, and it’s important to choose those people very delicately and wisely. Life is too short to allow toxic people to speak negative or worldly advice into your life. If there are people in your life that are speaking thoughts of self doubt into you that aren’t backed up with first and foremost, scripture, constructive criticism and love, then it may be time to reevaluate your relationship with that person. God has an abundant life and purpose for you and you need people in your life who are encouraging you towards God’s perfect plan. In my opinion, that’s where we find true joy and purpose.

Someone speaking life into you often means:

  • They encourage you
  • Their words bring you peace
  • Their words challenge you for the better – even if it’s uncomfortable sometimes
  • Their words are constructive and factual instead of emotional and hear-say
  • Ultimately, their words draw you closer to Jesus and point you to the Gospel

Take some time to reevaluate the people you’ve allowed to influence your thoughts and actions. Do they meet the “speaking life” requirements and if so, I’m so proud of you! If they don’t, then it’s time to prayerfully consider addressing or even stepping back from that relationship. Don’t just step back and stop there, run and find yourself some other Godly-friends who will speak life into you and encourage you to be all that God has called you to be!


  1. Kelly

    Such an encouragement. Thank you. I plan to start paying attention to people in my life and only surround myself with those who you have described. God Bless You.

  2. Cindy L Runyan

    Thank you for the wonderful suggestion of surrounding yourself with people who speak life into your life. I am a member of AA and the spiritually of the fellowship is my key to sobriety.

  3. Muriel Smythe

    Demi, thanks for the good reminders.

  4. Lydia DiMarzio

    This is such a good one Demi!! It took a few rough friendships for me to learn this lesson, but I am so thankful for it! I love the reminder since we are always meeting new people and always evaluating who is speaking LIFE into us and who isn’t. Well done!

  5. Rebecca Shea

    I loved this article. The main person in my life that spoke into my life was my mother-in-law. She was my Mom too. 2/2/2020 she went to meet our Lord and Savior. I miss her so much but I often stop and think what would she say. This has helped me so many times. I know we will be together soon. Thank you Demi

  6. Cecelia

    Thank you

  7. Lané

    Amen, Amen, Amen.

  8. Yuta

    Always encouraging!

  9. Judy Myers

    I have followed your wise advice in the past cutting a few toxic people from my life and it has done wonders for my emotional and spiritual health!

  10. Kimberly McKnight

    Thanks for your encouragement and the reminders, Demi. Words speak life and it’s important to understand how powerful they are. Take care!

  11. Mel Stewart

    Demi- I’m pushing 80, and have accumulated some wisdom along my life travels. It has been the hard times that provide the most profound lessons, because they often test your faith. Please continue to share with others the awesome power of our Lord.


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